Romance Scams & Pig Butchering: A Call for Cross-industry Collaboration

Over 64,000 people in the United States lost $1.14 billion to romance scams, according to the Federal Trade Commission. These scams leave deep emotional and financial scars. But for many victims, the trauma is compounded by “systemic failure” encountered when seeking help. Cross-industry collaboration is critical to combatting scams, especially as tactics like pig butchering carry national security risks.

Key Takeaways

• Romance scams cost US victims $1.14 billion, with a median loss of $2,000, according to the FTC.
• Some scammers commit “pig butchering” scams that take longer and drain larger resources from victims—effectively transferring wealth from one part of the world to another.
• Banks, dating sites, social media, tech firms, and law enforcement work in silos while scams flourish. Meanwhile, criminals freely swap tactics, fueling an underground economy.
• Victims describe being tricked by elaborate schemes and unable to get help afterward.
• Efforts to change the narrative are underway, with organizations such as Operation Shamrock and Tech Against Scams bringing cross-industry players together to share intelligence. 
• Obstacles to collaboration remain as banks fear compliance issues, and some participants are reluctant to make decisions based solely on eternal data.
• GenAI provides easy execution of deepfakes, voice cloning, and chatbots, making inter-industry and cross-bank collaboration critical to fighting romance scams and pig butchering activity.

When Reporting Scams Is ‘As Devastating as the Crime Itself’

In 2023, Debbie Fox, founder of a successful lifestyle business, had been calling and video chatting with a man she met on an online dating site for a few weeks. He had a verified account and presented himself as a successful businessman. The two bonded over shared interests like travel, music, and culture.

Then suddenly, he claimed his overseas project had been sabotaged, leaving him in financial and legal trouble. He asked Debbie for help. When she hesitated, he manipulated her emotions knowing just the right buttons to push.

“He’d say, ‘You have the means to help, but you’re choosing not to?'” she recalled.  

He produced a seemingly legitimate loan agreement. Convinced he was sincere, Debbie wired him $58,000. Two weeks later, she realized it was a scam.

“Romance scams aren’t just heartbreaking…they’re an urgent threat to our finances, our communities, and our national security.”

She called her bank to report the fraud. But before her bank would take action, she was required to sign a “hold harmless” agreement, making her liable for legal fees if the receiving bank contested the claim. By the time she received legal counsel, the money was gone.  

“The reporting process was as devastating as the crime itself,” Debbie lamented.

A Call to Collaborative Action Against Romance Scams

Debbie’s story is not just one of heartbreak and financial loss. It also highlights how a lack of coordination or response among our institutions empowers scams to thrive. Imagine how the story could have changed if the dating site was able to dive deeper into the scammer’s background? Or if all banks screened incoming transactions, not just outbound ones? Or if law enforcement could quickly review the bank’s suspicious activity intelligence?

Banks, dating platforms, social media companies, tech firms, and law enforcement are all part of a connected ecosystem where scams thrive. Yet these players rarely collaborate or share vital intelligence. Criminals, meanwhile, face no such disadvantage and freely exchange information and tactics, contributing to a thriving underworld economy.

“It’s a laser-focused operation to move wealth from one part of the world to another.”

We can solve the scam problem by making cross-industry collaboration standard practice. 

To dig into the romance scam problem and its solution, I spoke with victims, leaders at Match.com and Feedzai, state law enforcement, and non-profits that are mapping out a solution.

Here’s what I’ve learned about the state of romance scams in particular, all scams in general, why we’re not solving this problem, and how we can. Hint: shared intelligence is key. 

Romance Scammers Play the Long Game

Romance scams work by exploiting empathy and the universal need for connection. Median individual losses from these scams are $2,000, according to the FTC. For every victim who loses money, countless others suffer in silence and remain largely invisible.

Romance scams often start with friendly chats, emotional confessions, and grand gestures to build an illusion of intimacy. But once a rapport is established, the pivot to financial exploitation is seamless—and may come in the form of an “emergency” hospital bill or a too-good-to-miss investment.

“A romance scam is enabled by trust…scammers wait patiently and exploit that trust,” said Lucia Harris, Director of Member Protection at Match Group. 

Harris notes that romance scams can initiate any place people connect, including dating sites and social media.

From Dating Platforms to Social Media: Where Romance Scammers Gather

Kate Kleinert never joined a dating site. Instead, she used Facebook to connect with friends, family, and community following her husband’s death. 

Normally cautious about unfamiliar friend requests, she took a chance and connected with “Tony.” Tony introduced her to his children, who were in an overseas boarding school. His teen daughter grew so close to Kate that she emailed Kate about having her first menstrual cycle, sharing that she was scared and needed money for supplies.

“I waited my whole life for somebody to call me ‘Mom,’” Kate said, explaining how this emotional plea drew her in.

Over time, the children and Tony asked for money for various crises. Kate sent gift cards, paid for supplies, and helped with Tony’s business expenses abroad. She spent her 401(k) and even her late husband’s life insurance payout—nearly $40,000 total.

“I waited my whole life for somebody to call me ‘Mom.’” 

In December 2020 she was finally going to meet Tony. She could barely contain her excitement. But when the day she’d been waiting for arrived, she didn’t meet him. Instead, a lawyer called her, claiming Tony had been arrested. The lawyer said no one was allowed to visit him but that Tony needed bail money. At that point, her eyes were wide open. There was no daughter, no children, no Tony.

“It was much worse losing the love I thought had come back into my life,” she said. “I cried for days and days.”

Law Enforcement: The Romance Scam ‘Cleanup Crew’

For many victims, attempts to recover stolen funds lead to dead ends. Funds are usually moved offshore or converted into cryptocurrency before police can take action. Local or state police often struggle to investigate or prosecute cases.

“We call ourselves the ‘cleanup crew’ because by the time we’re notified, it’s already too late,” said Detective Matt Hogan of the Connecticut State Police.

Hogan sees more than just a string of isolated cases. He points to the systemic nature of romance scams, where perpetrators exploit gaps between banks, telecom providers, law enforcement, government agencies, and social media platforms. This enables criminals to commit crimes without consequences.

Scams Thrive in a Collaboration-free Vacuum

Erin West, a former California prosecutor, says this lack of coordination is about more than consumer losses. It’s leaving the US vulnerable to both financial risk and compromising our national security. That’s why West founded the cross-industry anti-fraud coalition Operation Shamrock to unite different industry players and combat romance scams more effectively.

“Everyone’s operating in silos,” she said. “They all have a bag of puzzle pieces, but no one is sharing them.”

West recently met with the National Security Council and representatives from major telecom providers, tech giants, and blockchain analytics firms, advocating for a coordinated federal response. 

Calling for a ‘Scam Czar’ to Combat Pig Butchering

West called for the appointment of a “scam czar” to coordinate national scam prevention measures. Centralizing efforts could encourage standardized data-sharing protocols, hold platforms accountable for implementing stronger fraud filters, and reinforce consumer education initiatives.

West thinks many romance scams evolve into “pig butchering”—scams that last months or years until a victim’s resources are fully drained. Criminal organizations—some based in China—use these stolen funds to purchase real estate or other high-value assets in the United States, essentially transferring American wealth and assets into foreign hands.

“It’s a laser-focused operation to move wealth from one part of the world to another,” West added.

Barriers to Cross-industry Collaboration for Scam Prevention

Both Operation Shamrock and Match Group are prioritizing collaboration to stop romance scams and pig butchering. Match Group launched its partnership, Tech Against Scams, with tech firms Coinbase, Meta, and Ripple to drive an “ecosystem-wide” approach to identify new scam trends that threaten consumers.

Despite these efforts, legal and logistical hurdles often stall progress.

• Data Sharing: Under Section 314(b) of the Patriot Act, US banks are technically allowed to share certain data to detect fraud. However, many institutions remain wary, fearing scrutiny and fines from the Financial Crimes Enforcement Network (FinCEN).
• User Privacy Concerns: Social media platforms often hesitate to impose bans based solely on another platform’s decisions. Match Group’s Harris notes that a user ousted from Meta platforms cannot be automatically banned from dating sites without further evidence.
• Litigation Risks: Financial institutions fear liability. For example, a lawsuit was recently filed against a credit union for allegedly failing to exercise due diligence by processing a fraudulent payment on one channel despite blocking the account on other channels. The case highlights the mounting pressure to act—and the legal peril in intervening.

AI Gives Criminals Precision-level Tools

Addressing these hurdles will be critical as technology grows more advanced. Det. Hogan warns that law enforcement is already stretched thin and struggling to keep up with rapidly evolving threats. Criminals are already using AI.

“Once we get up to speed on AI, scammers will be light-years ahead of us,” Hogan said.

Anusha Parisutham, Feedzai’s Senior Director of Product, Platform, and AI, notes the speed and accuracy with which scammers can target victims is already startling. During a recent snowstorm, residents in her own community received phishing scam emails about school closures. AI can customize these mass-scale attacks even further, directing personal or localized messages to thousands simultaneously.

Scammers gain four primary advantages by utilizing AI:

1. Personalized: Tailored specifically to the recipient, making the scam appear more credible.
2. Timely: Delivered at a moment when the target is most likely to be receptive or alarmed (e.g., right before a significant local event like a snowstorm or school closure).
3. Localized: Customized to the target’s specific geographic or situational context, which increases the scam’s relevance.
4. Scalable: Able to reach thousands of potential victims quickly due to the efficiency and automation enabled by technology.

Parisutham advocates for stricter customer and transaction verification to prevent funds from being sent under false pretenses.

A Patchwork of Fraud Protections—or a Lack Thereof

Unlike other nations, the US’s efforts to collaborate against scams are largely voluntary.

“Without a regulatory framework or enforcement, there’s no real incentive for organizations to collaborate,” said Parisutham.

Countries like the UK and Australia have moved to tighten protections, in part by mandating data sharing and compensating scam victims in certain situations. By contrast, the US lacks similar regulations.

“They’re tightening up against scams elsewhere,” retired banking director Ken Palla said. “But here, it’s still wide open.”

This regulatory gap makes US platforms and banks perfect targets for transnational criminal enterprises, some of which bring in an estimated $3 trillion from fraud alone.

Balancing Responsibility with Regulation

Financial services experts like Feedzai’s Head of Fraud Solutions, Lenny Gusel, caution that while US policymakers can look abroad for guidance, the size and complexity of the American financial sector means the country will require a tailored strategy.

“We’re going to do it in a different way here,” he said. “If we try to regulate our way out, we risk taking agency away from individuals,” said Gusel, likening scams to car accidents. 

Gusel also believes the public should not rely solely on institutions to address the crisis. Instead, education about the romance scam threat is critical. Changing our everyday attitudes about scams and how pervasive they are could help ease their stigma, said Gusel. Many victims fear judgment for coming forward. 

Take the case of a French woman who was scammed by someone pretending to be actor Brad Pitt. After sharing her ordeal, she was brutally mocked by online trolls. The attacks grew so fierce that the outlet was forced to remove her interview.

A Framework for Cross-sector Collaboration to Stop Scams

What does effective intelligence-sharing look like? Parisutham envisions cross-sector collaboration as a multi-layered, ongoing effort involving various stakeholders—banks, fintech companies, and social media platforms—to combat sophisticated scams. 

Here’s what she believes should happen:

• Unified Educational Campaigns: Romance scams navigate multiple touchpoints before they reach victims. All the players listed here should take responsibility for educating the public about advanced romance scam techniques. 
• Reduce Scam Stigma: At the same time, it’s important to emphasize that experiencing these scams is not a personal failing, but a consequence of highly sophisticated technology. This will both prepare the public to recognize red flags and reduce the stigma that prevents many victims from coming forward.
• Improved Reporting and Shared Experiences: Victims need a safe, supportive environment to share their experiences without fear of shame or blame. Encouraging more reporting improves our collective understanding of scam methodologies and tactics.
• Sharing Scam Intelligence: Once scams are reported, detailed information (including metadata) about how the scam was executed can be collected and analyzed. This includes specific patterns, tactics, and timing. 
• Automated Based on Known Patterns: This data should not just be stored, but fed into fraud and scam detection and prevention technologies. Encoding reported patterns into automated systems empowers institutions and businesses to enhance their ability to identify and stop similar scams in the future.
• Collective Response Mechanism: It’s not just banks that need to be part of this effort. Fintech vendors, telecom firms, and social media platforms also have roles in disseminating information and improving detection methods across industries. 
• Build a Networked Defense: Organizations can share insights about scam trends and how tactics are changing. When appropriate or necessary, different organizations can notify law enforcement or other financial institutions about critical threats. This effort creates a collective effort committed to catching scams and protecting customers.

Watch for Romance Scam Red Flags

The collective effort to stop romance scams starts with education. If you’re communicating with someone online, protect yourself by watching for these critical red flags from Match Group.

Resources for Romance Scams

If you believe you have experienced a romance scam, please consider reporting your experience to the following organizations. 

• The Federal Trade Commission
• FBI Internet Criminal Complaint Center
• National Center for Victims of Crime
• Better Business Bureau
• AARP
• Your local police department

Combatting Scams and Strengthening US Security with Collaboration

It’s human nature to seek connection. One in five US adults feels lonely, according to a recent Harvard study, with many turning to dating or social media platforms for connections. While digital platforms can foster legitimate relationships, they also serve as a hunting ground for fraudsters. 

As more people seek digital connections, addressing this crisis requires societal change, cross-industry cooperation, and clear national standards. A single framework could push fragmented efforts toward real solutions, from proactive data sharing to stronger consumer protections.

“Romance scams aren’t just heartbreaking,” said West. “They’re an urgent threat to our finances, our communities, and our national security.”

With billions in aggregate losses each year, the stakes transcend the personal tragedies. The question is whether the US will move swiftly and collectively to blunt the tide of romance scams before more technologically advanced tactics are deployed.

• Blog: The Psychological Impact of Scams
• Resource: Generative AI and the Future of Scams
• Analyst Report: Global State of Scams Report
• Solution: Fight Fraud and Financial Crime with Advanced AI